Most families would agree that moms have the toughest job out of the bunch.
On the same note, they don’t receive much by the way of compensation for the time put in- like the sleepless nights, the after-school projects, and the endless pile of laundry.
This Mother’s Day you don’t have to buy anything fancy, and you don’t have to make a macaroni necklace (unless you really want to); all you have to do is show mom you care.
Mothers have the most impressive resumes: they are life coaches, counselors, chefs, housekeepers, child care providers, and the list goes on.
And this is all without leaving the house!
Let’s not forget to mention the added list of duties if the mother works another job.
When the dust settles, and the kids are all tucked in bed, do you think this is where moms take those famous bubble baths while sipping on a glass of wine?
No way!
This is the “free time” where you get to catch up on dishes, put the clothes away that have accumulated on the chair, and finally wipe that ketchup off the wall next to the high chair.
With all this being said, the rewards that come from motherhood far outweigh any amount of money.
But does that mean moms shouldn’t be appreciated for all their love, sacrifice, and downright hard work?
A certain stigma is attached to mothers who “need” something in exchange for their role, making them sound like they are bad moms because they want to hear a genuine “thank you” every now and again.
Nancy Colier, LCSW, is a mom herself and knows the truth behind the emotional rollercoaster moms go through when they crave appreciation.
Writing for Psychology Today, Colier reports:
“What’s most remarkable is the fact that (from my research) most moms feel unappreciated.”
Adding that many feel “to want or need appreciation as a mom would be self-serving, inappropriate, and even shameful.”
As a psychotherapist, Colier has unique insight into all the feelings mothers have, that they don’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else.
What she has found is that many moms are having the exact same feelings, and are all ashamed to express them to their family.
Colier says:
“Again and again, I hear moms express the deep longing for appreciation, the wish for some acknowledgment from their kids and partner, that they might notice what mom does to make everyone else’s life go well and just plain happen.”
I’m sure every mom reading this can relate.
There is a persona all moms are supposed to emanate, and that is to be strong, selfless, and full of never-ending patience.
And while it is definitely true that moms are real-life superheroes, they are also painfully human and crave the inherent need for appreciation.
The dictionary definition of appreciation is “recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something.”
Remembering to show moms that what they do is valued and treasured not only meets a basic human desire but can also ward off depression.
According to Metro Parent, a Gallup analysis found that 28% of stay-at-home moms reported feeling depressed the day before they were questioned, and 41% reported feeling worried.
Psychology Today reports:
“Depression is often accompanied by a critical, self-destructive mentality that interferes with and distracts us from our daily lives. When depressed, people tend to accept this negative identity as a true representation of who they are.”
Nothing combats our negative self-talk like hearing kind words from those we love best.
Moms don’t need to be told they are appreciated all the time, and definitely not from their children who are supposed to be care-free and cared for, but the occasional positive reaction to all that is done in love would mean more than any material object.
This Mother’s Day take the time to point out a specific thing to your mom that you are appreciative for.
Don’t be afraid to be honest with your family about wanting them to tell you something that they are appreciative of.
Who knows, maybe the trend will last, or at least bring awareness to your needs.
Lastly, appreciate yourself. Reject any negative self-talk, and know you are amazing every day.
(h/t Mommy Underground)